Dirty Laundry

Dirty Laundry

Presented at County Line Brethren Church on August 30, 2009.
Year B, Proper 17
Scripture passages: James 1:17-27 & Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23

“Dirty Laundry” – Don Henley

I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something, something I can use
People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry

Well, I could've been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around

We got the bubbleheaded bleach-blonde, comes on at 5
She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set, we need dirty laundry

You don't really need to find out what's going on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone, keep your dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around

Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
Love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing
When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry

Every preacher has certain subjects that they prefer not to preach about. Like when scripture talks about gluttony, that's getting a little close to home for some of us, if you know what I mean. For others preachers, when scripture talks about the destructiveness of anger, we end up coming face to face with our own problems. Other topics include sex, lust, Internet indiscretions, drinking, gossiping. Sometimes scripture passages which are too close to home are ones that address marriage and family, particularly when the pastor does not have a good marriage and one of their children fit the description of the prodigal child who is still slopping pigs. Perhaps some pastors have difficulty talking about scripture passages related to forgiveness, because they still harbor deep-seated resentments toward those who have hurt him or family members in the past. Maybe the problem is in the use of foul language and the scripture passage is talking about pure speech.

You see, it is particularly difficult for preachers to address scripture passages which expose their own weaknesses and failures. I have to tell you that this is one of the most difficult functions of preaching or pastoring. There are few options available.

1. One option is to fight the personal failure by turning it into a cause. This can occur before or after the failure becomes publicly known. In either case, the private battle surrounding this weakness or failure of the pastor/preacher is fought in the public arena. Oftentimes these preachers brandish the “sword of the spirit” (the Bible) preaching condemnation and judgment for those who engage in such activities. Unfortunately, this does not typically bring victory in the private arena. Their eventual public embarrassment only serves to turn the condemnation onto themselves.
2. Another option is to simply not talk about it. The preacher is tempted to avoid these scripture passages altogether. Even when using the lectionary the preacher is able to choose one of the other scripture passages to address on that particular Sunday. I have caught myself doing this and have read of others doing the same thing. For preachers so inclined not to use the lectionary, it is a much easier task. The scripture passage in question rarely presents itself as a possible sermon text. You see, without the lectionary, preachers have a propensity to talk about what is pertinent or relevant to the day or simply what the preacher enjoys preaching about. They develop sermon series that are geared toward attracting people back for another dose of “church.” For the preacher and the congregation it is like having a diet that consists of only 3 of the major food groups.
3. Another option for the preacher/pastor for dealing with scripture passages associated with their personal weaknesses or failures is to discuss them only on an intellectual level. This thoughtful approach would try to address it in a way similar to an academic lecture on the ghastly particulars of the job of a medical examiner. So, in this instance, both the preacher and the congregation leave the service having a better understanding of the subject but without receiving any assistance regarding what to do about the problem.
4. Another option is rarely used. Indeed, I've only seen it used when the preacher has been broken by their weakness or failure such that they cannot pretend or intellectualize or skip the subject. This is when there is a full and public accounting of the preacher's indiscretions within the context of the sermon.
5. Of course, the 5th option is for the preacher to pretend that it is not a problem for them personally sometimes even feigning spiritual superiority – all the while knowing quite well the demons that lurk in the shadows of their heart and in their private trysts with sin. They do not make a cause out of the issue. Eventually, the preacher/pastor may even delude themselves into thinking that this lurking demon is not even worth paying attention to.

Now lest the congregation deem this solely to be a problem with the preacher/pastor, I submit that there is some collusion to this dilemma on their behalf. Notwithstanding their own secret trysts with sin, the congregation deeply desires and sometimes overtly requires their preacher/pastors to be darn near perfect. They not only want someone to look up to, but also to model after and to freely and excitedly introduce to one of their friends. They want someone to be proud of and to put right up on that pedestal, displayed for everyone to see. So if they do have some flaw, let it be something as benign as gluttony, as private as sexual problems in their marriage or as ambiguous as Paul's thorn in the flesh. Quite frankly the congregation does not really want to know.

Let's see if we can venture into a more healthy resolution to this long-standing problem.

In our gospel passage today, Jesus rips into the Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Let us understand what hypocrisy is. In Greek plays, hypocrisy “in the negative, it is used of an actor who has not identified himself with his role” (NIDNTT). In other words, the hypocrite is someone who presents themselves as something different than what they really are. In the realm of theatre, the actor is called upon to act in such a way that is at odds with who they really are as a person. There is often an intentionality about this. Jesus himself describes what a hypocrite is in our passage today.
"Isaiah prophesied rightly about you hypocrites, as it is written, 'This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching human precepts as doctrines.' You abandon the commandment of God and hold to human tradition."
From this passage, we can expand our understanding of hypocrisy to include those who pretend to honor and worship God, but their hearts are not bent toward the Lord. To make up for this lack of communion with our Heavenly Father, the hypocrite turns to rules, regulations and the law – not the commandments of God, but those originating within the human mind.

Galatians 2:13 uses the term hypocrisy when Peter had buddied up with the gentiles until the Jews arrived from Jerusalem. As you recall, Peter withdrew from the gentiles, as if they were unclean – even though he had just been having a great time with those same gentiles. Paul describes Peter, Barnabas and others as being hypocrites in their actions. What we learn from this is that hypocrisy is acting one way in the presence of some of our friends until someone comes that might disapprove and then acting differently. The other thing we can surmise from this passage is that hypocrisy is when we buddy up with our 'rough' friends, but then we reject them if one of our religious friends stop happen by.

So here is a summary of what hypocrisy is.
Acting in a way that is not consistent with who we really are, in order to deceive or to present ourselves in a better light to some people about who we really are. It is typically seen in those who talk about rules that are not in the Bible or apply the law in inappropriate and rigid ways, and without love. Hypocrisy is seen in those who passionately press for perfection, without being perfect themselves. Hypocrisy is also seen when people act different ways around different friends AND are in a quandary when those different friends are placed in the same room at the same time. They have no idea who they are and are therefore unable to know how to act as themselves. And finally, as it concerns our relationship to God, hypocrisy is when we place rules ahead of love, law above grace and knowledge about God ahead of communion with God.

So, I just want you to know that I am a hypocrite. Indeed, I am, or have been, a hypocrite pretty much my whole life. It probably started as a child of a minister, for me anyway. Pretend everything is ok, even when it isn't. People like a smile and warm greeting. I continue to learn that when I speak up, or share how I really feel or think, some people don't really like that. Please understand that I am not saying I communicate that in pleasant ways, which is part of the problem, my problem. So, I continue learning how to “be nice.” I am indeed, the problem, and still struggling to achieve some kind of “congruence” that I spoke about several months ago.

When I was your pastor, I found it difficult to preach after having an argument with Beth. I suppose that preaching on those mornings was “hypocritical.” I have struggled like Peter, who had friends with different standards. I have felt pressed into a quandary about how to act.

On the other hand, I have tried very hard not to fall into the trap of preaching harshly or judgmentally, especially with respect to those things I have continued to struggle with.

When preaching, I make every attempt to be congruent. I try not to press man-made rules, regulations or laws.

When preaching, I try not to air my dirty laundry without purpose. I do not condone hypocrisy. I only admit that it is one of my many imperfections. I do believe that with the Lord's help, I am becoming less hypocritical. I'm not sure about how to address hypocrisy, except by trying to be more honest and true about my thoughts and feelings, being more myself in my relationships to my friends and thus avoid the trap of trying to be what other people want me to be. I also become less hypocritical as I focus more on love and less on rules, more on grace and less on law, more on forgiveness and less on insisting I'm right. I have tried to be more open and honest with you about who I am.

It seems to me that this 6th model seems to be working for me right now. To resist efforts to put me on the pedestal, to move more toward honesty and openness without airing all of my dirty laundry while trying to address that same dirty laundry in more appropriate and more private ways. To address scripture passages that I am not fully comfortable with, that expose some of my own failings.

One thing is sure about passages like this and in our Epistle for today, they force us to examine ourselves more closely – and it is very uncomfortable. It is attributed to Socrates that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” I am NOT suggesting that we go that far. Maybe it would be better to say, in light of this passage, that the unexamined life sows the seeds and promotes the growth of hypocrisy. So, we would certainly be wise to consider closely where we stand with reference to the list of sins contained within our passages today to look at our own dirty laundry. Is not another hallmark of hypocrisy that of focusing on others faults and to actively avoid submitting to a full accounting of our own?
• Are you quick to speak, slow to listen, and quick to anger?
• Do you let your tongue wag too much at work, home and the community – as well as when you come to church
• Do you care for the orphans and widows? Are you “unstained by the world?”
• How about fornication or theft?
• Have you let your anger at another person get the best of you?
• Are you paying too much attention to your neighbor's spouse?
• Have you been paying more attention to your 401(k) than to the needy around you
• Are you a bit wicked, deceitful, or a morally loose cannon
• Have you caught yourself wanting some of the things that your neighbors have
• Have you been talking badly about someone you know?

Maybe now would be a good time to talk about being a hypocrite. Maybe we should all vomit our respective sins to one another, air our dirty laundry? I need to say a word about this dirty laundry thing. In our society of thirst for the dirt, it seems to me that the more gratuitous the disclosure, the less helpful it is to the offender, the church, and the public to share every detail. This presents a problem. Because in an appropriate and private setting, discussing one's weaknesses and failures can be very healing. But that stuff is really other people's stuff and none of our business.

What IS our business is being more honest and open about our failures and imperfections without airing all the dirty laundry. It is our business to try to be more honest and true about my thoughts and feelings, being more myself in my relationships to my friends and thus avoid the trap of trying to be what other people want me to be. It is my business to focus more on love and less on rules, more on grace and less on law, more on forgiveness and less on insisting I'm right.

Notwithstanding scripture’s admonition elsewhere to carefully share our concerns with one another, the gratuitousness of other people's dirty laundry is not my business.